Sunday, August 29, 2010

Mt. Puckmore Revisited

First and foremost, it's time to get serious.  I've owned my house for 2 years and have never sat at my office desk any longer than it has taken me to file away bills or print out pictures of cats with poor grammar attached to them, so you know if I'm writing this post from said aforementioned desk, that this is serious business and isn't going to be a post with millions of Wellwood is fat (He didn't play for the Stars, so it can't be) or Martin Skoula has the defensive prowess of a Tic-Tac jokes (Whoops, forgot about 2005-06...good thing I was able to obtain this video of a Montreal forward going up against Martin Skoula 1-on-1.  If you look closely you'll see a special rare appearance by Niko Kapanen by the blue line).  Nope, I'm here to respond to The Dallas Morning News' Mike Heika who was privileged enough to write the Dallas Stars Mt. Puckmore for Yahoo!'s Puck Daddy Blog.

First off let's tackle Mr. Heika's four faces: Modano, Gainey, Belfour, and Lehtinen.  Modano was obviously a lock.  He had to be.  You do not leave out the "Face of the Franchise" when it comes to Puckmore.  It's stupid.  It would be like not calling a penalty on a blatant violation of the rules.

In Gainey, I honestly feel ashamed that I didn't even think of him when I compiled my own list of four candidates.  He truly coached the team well and built the foundation for the great years of playoff success we had.  The day he left the organization was a sad day for me since I did not really trust Doug Armstrong with the keys to the Stars organization.

I can't really get upset with either the Belfour or Lehtinen picks.  Both have the support that they should in terms of being eligible.  Lehtinen deserves it for his accomplishments (6 Selke nominations, 3 wins in addition to leading the team in goals 2 years in a row among other stats) in addition to being a Star for life.  As for Eddie...well, I still can't shake my memory of him being Billionaire Belfour.

This all leads me to my own nominations for Mt. Puckmore.  The ones that should have made it because they are so important to the deciding criteria of "four people...who you remember most when you think of these teams -- whether they be players, coaches or executives."

Sadly not even close to the strangest thing put in there (source: Cornell)

Joe Nieuwenmynameisreallyhardtospelldyk
I know a lot of people probably disagree that he is someone that is remembered the most, but he deserves to be here for other reasons than being the #2 center for the Stars.  Gainey traded a guy that one day might crack an NHL lineup for Joe.  Aside from being ballsy, it suddenly added a legitimate punctuation mark to the Stars team in terms of how serious a Southern market was willing to be in hopes of winning a Stanley Cup.  Suddenly more and more free agents were willing to look at Dallas as a viable destination.  Keep in mind he notched six game winning goals and won the Conn Smythe in 1999.  As for today...well, he's still well known.  Mainly as someone that can't seem to put together a winning team at all.  He's also the guy that had to make the announcement that Modano would not be offered a contract.  Tough break, but it does mean memories.

Sir, you appear to have a squirrel tail coming out of your nose.
Jaromir "Puff Nuts" Jagr
Because what self respecting blogger wouldn't include Jagr in their Mt. Puckmore?  When you look at the stats it further shows how amazing he was.  Since the 2000-01 season, when playing with Stars players he was literally a point a game player (9 games, 4 goals, 5 assists).  Not even Mike Modano has that distinction.  What's that?  Jagr never put on a Stars uniform?  Get the F out of here!  Oh well.

Only thing it's missing is a Liverpool banner (source: Dallas Sports Fans)

Thomas O. Hicks
Yes, I hate the man.  Nay, I despite the man.  I've had to endure him and his family long before he owned the Stars, and will likely have to do the same long after he has sold them.  One thing needs to be made perfectly clear though, he has done excellent things in taking this team where was a few years ago.  He has done some horrible things to the team to turn it into what it is today.  His finances are the reasons for our success and failures.  He was able to turn an $84 million team with virtually no future being in a southern market, into a team worth $246 million at the end of 2009.  Like him or hate him, he truly has defined the Stars for better or worse.

I see nothing wrong with this picture (source: The Star)

Brett Hull's Left Foot
Like you didn't see this coming.  Brett Hull's left foot is easily the most famous and recognizable...player?...executive?...hmm...ok, so it doesn't fit the exact word-for-word criteria for Mt. Puckmore, but you can't tell me you don't think of this moment when you think of the Dallas Stars.  If you disagree, then I encourage you to go to any hockey city in the US, for example's sake let's pick one completely at random like Buffalo, and ask the first 10 people you see walking down the street the first thing that comes into their head when they hear the words "Dallas Stars."  After you eliminate the one person that breaks down and cries, the two people that curse at you, and Scott Norwood exclaiming "Thank God!" you are left with six people who are obviously going to say Brett Hull's left foot.  It's proven fact, just look it up.

Please remember there is a lovely comment section you can take full advantage of and leave your scathing remarks for me to read, or you can harass me on twitter.  It's all up to you.


  1. Scott Norwood...NICE!

    As a Flyers fan, I know all about beating the Sabres in the finals...good post bro

  2. your mother was a hamster, and your father smells of elderberries