What Are You Thankful For?

Well, it's time for everyone in America to once again tell themselves they are only going to nosh a little bit, and instead end up in a turkey squared coma (actual turkey and Wild Turkey).  As many of you know, a yearly tradition is to mention what one is thankful for in their lives before the big feast begins.  I'm here to give you some of the things I'm thankful for this year.  As a serious heads up, we're gonna mix it up more than Dan Bylsma does wingers for Sidney Crosby.  By that, I mean not everything will be about hockey.  I wouldn't worry though.  I think y'all will be fine.

The Official holiday of Kyle Wellwood - Appetizer spread only pictured.

I Am Thankful...

- ...that I get to watch a sports league run by a competent commissioner that is devoted to marketing the sport to millions of fans.  A commish that has a top-notch staff of loyal, devoted, and most importantly, honest and unbiased individuals working for him in order to protect the league's highest integrity in all matters.
- ...that one day Gary Bettman might learn something from the aforementioned league.
- ...that despite most food packages having pictures on the label of what they contain, Gerber does not in fact have ground up babies inside.
- ...that I have an irrational fear of taxi cabs, and thus will likely never get into as much trouble as an NHL player.
- ...that it's time for everyone to make delicious delicious pecan pie (my absolute favorite).
- ...that Martin Brodeur's pie eating elbow is currently injured, thus I know my pie is 100% safe.
- ...that I don't own a purse, because if I did some moron might try to sell me a Kangaroo Keeper.
- ...that I know one day Tom Hicks will sell the Dallas Stars.  (Turn in Hanukah time when I wish for the sale of the team for all 8 nights)
- ...that at least 41 games in the NHL season are played at home, otherwise the Stars may never score another power play goal again.
- ...that I should never have to drink $10 a bottle scotch ever again...EVER.
- ...that I've met some really cool people on twitter who were able to enrich my life.  That poutine bot just LOVES me to pieces.
- ...that Paul Bissonette has yet to severely injure his hands in a fight.  That would certainly make for rather difficult tweeting.
- ...that one day I will once again get head in a place other than a beer glass.
- ...that I do not have to deal with womanly issues such as cramps, mood swings, hot flashes, and receiving pictures of Brett Favre's ding-a-ling.
- ...that someone, somewhere in Dallas will do something so incredibly stupid during a sporting event, that it will make the news.  Every now and then, it's a defensive player too.
- ...that pro wrestling is fake, because if anyone like The Miz ever became a UFC champion, I'd have to stop watching the sport.
- ...that it was once again proven that money can buy you players, but that doesn't necessarily translate into wins.  Lou Lamoriello might want to call Glen Sather to find out how this story ends.  (SPOILER ALERT: It ends with an extremely overpaid enforcer and a lack of anything that resembles a hockey team).
- ...that we're on the topic of fantasy hockey teams, because I'm doing rather well in my Yahoo leagues including two that I am essentially running away with.  Moral of the story?  Always draft with a group of Dallas Stars fans.  Sadly, I have realized they know absolutely nothing about hockey.
- ...that I can marinate my seafood in a combination of extra virgin olive oil, fresh herbs, garlic, and lemon instead of not-so-tasty BP oil.
- ...that the Sedins play far far away from here.  The last time we even had one half of a Swedish set of twins in this state, I almost lost a girlfriend due to an obsession.
- ...that the Chicago Blackhawks defensemen have welcomed Turco so much to their team, that they too have stopped playing defense in order to make him feel at home.
- ...knowing that even if my team fails to make the playoffs, they probably will still rank 5th overall in the Eastern Conference.
- ...that Snooki has not had a sex tape released nationwide.
- ...that I started this blog assuming it would be a train wreck of epic proportions, and yet people still find me amusing enough to get to the final line of the post.  Happy Thanksgiving to everyone in the US, happy Thursday to everyone elsewhere, and a heart felt thank you for taking time out of your schedules to read what I have to write.

Now get the hell off my lawn before I spray you with the hose.

As always, feel free to leave your comments, hate mail, and your favorite Thanksgiving side dish, or just stalk me on Twitter , because what better things do you have to do while at work?

Mt. Puckmore Revisited

First and foremost, it's time to get serious.  I've owned my house for 2 years and have never sat at my office desk any longer than it has taken me to file away bills or print out pictures of cats with poor grammar attached to them, so you know if I'm writing this post from said aforementioned desk, that this is serious business and isn't going to be a post with millions of Wellwood is fat (He didn't play for the Stars, so it can't be) or Martin Skoula has the defensive prowess of a Tic-Tac jokes (Whoops, forgot about 2005-06...good thing I was able to obtain this video of a Montreal forward going up against Martin Skoula 1-on-1.  If you look closely you'll see a special rare appearance by Niko Kapanen by the blue line).  Nope, I'm here to respond to The Dallas Morning News' Mike Heika who was privileged enough to write the Dallas Stars Mt. Puckmore for Yahoo!'s Puck Daddy Blog.

First off let's tackle Mr. Heika's four faces: Modano, Gainey, Belfour, and Lehtinen.  Modano was obviously a lock.  He had to be.  You do not leave out the "Face of the Franchise" when it comes to Puckmore.  It's stupid.  It would be like not calling a penalty on a blatant violation of the rules.

In Gainey, I honestly feel ashamed that I didn't even think of him when I compiled my own list of four candidates.  He truly coached the team well and built the foundation for the great years of playoff success we had.  The day he left the organization was a sad day for me since I did not really trust Doug Armstrong with the keys to the Stars organization.

I can't really get upset with either the Belfour or Lehtinen picks.  Both have the support that they should in terms of being eligible.  Lehtinen deserves it for his accomplishments (6 Selke nominations, 3 wins in addition to leading the team in goals 2 years in a row among other stats) in addition to being a Star for life.  As for Eddie...well, I still can't shake my memory of him being Billionaire Belfour.

This all leads me to my own nominations for Mt. Puckmore.  The ones that should have made it because they are so important to the deciding criteria of "four people...who you remember most when you think of these teams -- whether they be players, coaches or executives."

Sadly not even close to the strangest thing put in there (source: Cornell)

Joe Nieuwenmynameisreallyhardtospelldyk

I know a lot of people probably disagree that he is someone that is remembered the most, but he deserves to be here for other reasons than being the #2 center for the Stars.  Gainey traded a guy that one day might crack an NHL lineup for Joe.  Aside from being ballsy, it suddenly added a legitimate punctuation mark to the Stars team in terms of how serious a Southern market was willing to be in hopes of winning a Stanley Cup.  Suddenly more and more free agents were willing to look at Dallas as a viable destination.  Keep in mind he notched six game winning goals and won the Conn Smythe in 1999.  As for today...well, he's still well known.  Mainly as someone that can't seem to put together a winning team at all.  He's also the guy that had to make the announcement that Modano would not be offered a contract.  Tough break, but it does mean memories.

Sir, you appear to have a squirrel tail coming out of your nose.

Jaromir "Puff Nuts" Jagr

Because what self respecting blogger wouldn't include Jagr in their Mt. Puckmore?  When you look at the stats it further shows how amazing he was.  Since the 2000-01 season, when playing with Stars players he was literally a point a game player (9 games, 4 goals, 5 assists).  Not even Mike Modano has that distinction.  What's that?  Jagr never put on a Stars uniform?  Get the F out of here!  Oh well.

Only thing it's missing is a Liverpool banner (source: Dallas Sports Fans)

Thomas O. Hicks

Yes, I hate the man.  Nay, I despite the man.  I've had to endure him and his family long before he owned the Stars, and will likely have to do the same long after he has sold them.  One thing needs to be made perfectly clear though, he has done excellent things in taking this team where was a few years ago.  He has done some horrible things to the team to turn it into what it is today.  His finances are the reasons for our success and failures.  He was able to turn an $84 million team with virtually no future being in a southern market, into a team worth $246 million at the end of 2009.  Like him or hate him, he truly has defined the Stars for better or worse.

I see nothing wrong with this picture (source: The Star)

Brett Hull's Left Foot

Like you didn't see this coming.  Brett Hull's left foot is easily the most famous and recognizable...player?...executive?...hmm...ok, so it doesn't fit the exact word-for-word criteria for Mt. Puckmore, but you can't tell me you don't think of this moment when you think of the Dallas Stars.  If you disagree, then I encourage you to go to any hockey city in the US, for example's sake let's pick one completely at random like Buffalo, and ask the first 10 people you see walking down the street the first thing that comes into their head when they hear the words "Dallas Stars."  After you eliminate the one person that breaks down and cries, the two people that curse at you, and Scott Norwood exclaiming "Thank God!" you are left with six people who are obviously going to say Brett Hull's left foot.  It's proven fact, just look it up.

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