NHLOL 11/12 - 11/22

So I've promised a post twice.  I ended up mingling with the real world both nights.  Sue me...unless you're really a lawyer, then I'm just joshing, I don't really want to deal with a law suit.  Anyway, lots of ups and downs this week.  Most of which have been downs, such as the Dallas Stars loss to Toronto which led me to do things I never wish upon my own worst enemy.  Anywho, you didn't come here to laugh at me...*eyebrow raise*...you can here to laugh with me.  So on with the funnies...I think.

AP and other images via Yahoo! and ESPN/Getty Images.

As always, feel free to leave your comments, hate mail, and Songs you'd like me to reference, or just stalk me on Twitter , because what better things do you have to do while at work?

Toto, We're Not In Dallas Anymore

How bout them Cowboys Stars?  Well, to be perfectly honest, they are who we thought they were.  They currently sit in a tie for 12th place with the Minnesota Wild with 16 points in 15 games.  The last time the Stars received a point?  Oh ya, that's back when Kovalchoke wasn't scoring at all and giving us a good laugh on a nightly basis: November 5th in Dallas in the drubbing of the Coyotes.  That was also one night after the amazingly well played 5-2 win over the Penguins, also at home.  Then things went bad.  The Stars left the comfort and familiarity of the American Airlines Center (I'm sure the 200 fans that showed up each night were crushed), and went to add to their absolutely atrocious 4% road power play.  That isn't a typo.  I didn't leave off a "1" at the beginning.  It's 1 for 25.  That means it's been over a month since the Stars found the back of the net in an advantage situation.  Only the Devils sport a worse road power play than the Stars.  My question is, when you're on the man advantage, or even two-man advantage as there were a few times, doesn't shooting a puck at the net accidentally go in more than 4% of the time?

Sadly, I'm not even as upset about that as I should be.  Oh no.  We went from the most explosive offense in the NHL to scoring 3 goals in three away games.  That isn't really going to get the job done unless you're playing supreme defense, which, oh ya, finally proved they are as bad as I thought.  Trust me, if I had the ability to replace Nik Grossman during the Getzlaf goal with a ballerina doing a pirouette I'd be all over it.  God forbid the Stars play the Wings anytime soon because Tomas Holmstrom will be allowed to drop anchor in front of Lehtonen for as long as it takes Khabibulin to drop his GAA under 3.5...which means he'll be there a while.  Seriously, where is Derian Hatcher to physically pick someone up and relocate them when you need it?  Or better yet, where is Ed Belfour to gently encourage you to move in a way only he can?  Plain and simple, if Lehtonen sees you coming, you aren't scoring, but if the core of 6 turnstiles on the ice each night want to let everyone do what they want in front of the net, then it's going to be a long season.

Oh, and I'm sure y'all want comments regarding the blatant LA Kings diving penalty filled game against the Kings and all, but instead of attempting that and ending up with bloody damaged sheet rock in my house, I'm going to give y'all some bonus NHLOL from the previous week that didn't make it in because I'm stupid and saved them in the wrong spot.  Enjoy.

 

AP and other images via Yahoo! and ESPN/Getty Images.

As always, feel free to leave your comments, hate mail, and Dustin Brown diving excuses/rebutals, or just stalk me on Twitter , because what better things do you have to do while at work?

NHLOL

It's Caturday, and what better way to spend it than posting pictures of adorable, lovable kitten videos?  Ok, so maybe that wasn't exactly lovable.  Well in that case it's time for the first ever DWYDN NHLOL (holy crap that's more caps than you'll find past the first round of the NHL playoffs).  It's a little feature I'd like to adapt from Kissing Suzy Kolber's LOLNFL.  It's basically a take on the famous LOLCats, but at Discard What You Don't Need, our motto is more hockey, less pussy (Mental Note: Find a better motto that does not have alternative, yet unfortunately true meanings)

That's a wrap kids.  I hope you only sing Cutting Crew a maximum of three times after seeing these, but if it's more, it's ok.  It could have been a Corey Hart song.

AP and other images via Yahoo! and Hockey-Shots.

As always, feel free to leave your comments, hate mail, and Caturday fun, or just stalk me on Twitter , because what better things do you have to do while at work?